


burn this bridge to ash

by perfectlyrose



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, epilogue compliant, even when they're semi-estranged, is they know where to hit each other where it hurts, just out here breaking things further instead of fixing them, the problem with these boys knowing each other so well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-27 07:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18191663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlyrose/pseuds/perfectlyrose
Summary: After Shiro's wedding, Keith leaves.It takes a year and change for Shiro to figure out that he's not planning on coming back.





	burn this bridge to ash

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to the Ace Pilot server for letting me throw this at y'all first and encouraging me to inflict it on others!!
> 
> please note the angst & hurt no comfort tags. there is no fix to this, just a break along previously existing fracture lines. shiro and keith know each other's weak spots and that's not always a good thing.

“Where are you now?” Shiro asks, settling into an armchair, videofeed shaking as he moves.

The room around him is dark and Keith can tell that he’s only illuminated by a lamp. He doesn’t know why it’s almost always the middle of the night when Shiro calls, but he can make a guess or two. “Hytix quadrant,” he answers. He’s in the middle of nowhere, drifting in empty space with the  _ Scorpion _ on autopilot.

Shiro’s brows draw together and Keith can see the gears turning as he works out where that is, exactly. “Long ways out,” he whispers finally. “Surprised the call quality is this good.”

“Must be in a good spot,” Keith admits, surprised himself. “Nothing around me but empty space for lightyears right now.”

“You’re getting further away from Earth all the time,” Shiro says. His words are accompanied by a quirk of his lips that is almost a smile and an attempted laugh.

It doesn’t hide the undercurrent of  _ something _ in his words. Keith doesn’t want to call it hurt because Shiro shouldn’t feel hurt by his distance.

“Still not to the edges of the Empire,” Keith says with a shrug. “People need help and I’m the closest Blade with authority. I’m trying to do my part.”

“I know. I’m proud of you, Keith.” The words light something up in Keith and he hates that Shiro still has this power even now, after everything. “You’re doing such great work out there. So much good.”

Keith swallows hard and raises his eyebrows, trying to hide how much the words have affected him. “I feel like there’s a but coming.”

“No but,” Shiro promises, despite the definite melancholic twist to his expression. Keith stares him down until he breaks with a sigh. “Just, I guess I’ll have to wait a while longer to take you to the diner.”

He’s mentioned the diner they used to grab lunch at when they were off-campus being rebuilt and how it’s an exact replica down to the stained laminate tabletops. He’s told Keith a few times that they should try it out, see what alien food has made it onto the menu before taking the hoverbikes out for a spin.

He hadn’t realized that Shiro was actually  _ waiting _ .

Keith’s heart, battered thing that it is, cracks just a little more. It’s not  _ fair  _ that after everything Shiro can still cause so much unintentional damage.

“Shiro…” he starts. He’s never told Shiro that he’s not planning on coming back to Earth for a long time, if ever. He hasn’t told anyone except his mom, but his face is probably giving him away now.

 

“You’re not coming back, are you?” The hurt is exposed in his voice now, no longer hiding behind careful neutrality or false cheer. “You’re planning on just going further and further out until none of us can contact you and you’re just gone.”

Keith swallows. He can’t deny it, not really. He doesn’t exactly plan on just falling out of touch completely, but that seems like a small point to debate.

“Why?” Shiro’s eyes are redrimmed and glistening. Keith hates the clear videofeed with a passion. “Were you going to tell me?”

“I don’t know,” Keith rasps out, an answer to the second question only.

“Just going to let me talk about taking you to try the new diner food and run the new hoverbikes through their paces in the desert and not tell me that that’s never going to happen?”

Keith opens his mouth but no words come out.

“What the fuck, Keith?”

“It’s not like my plans are set in stone,” he shoots back, the spark of Shiro’s anger setting him on fire. Anger is easy, familiar. “I really am doing good work out here, Shiro. It’s not like I just fucked off on a neverending joyride.”

Shiro rakes fingers through his hair. “I never said you did!”

“I can’t just hop back to Earth on a whim,” he continues, voice tight. “I’m eight months out, minimum. Probably more, I haven’t done the calculations lately.”

“Of course you haven’t.” Shiro’s lip curls up and Keith’s face mirrors the snarl. “Because why would you bother to make calculations for a trip you don’t plan on making. Not like you have friends here who’d like to see you or anything.”

“You’re seeing me right now. See how well that’s going?” It feels freeing to finally let the venom out.

“I know you haven’t told Pidge your plans either because, last I heard, she has ship designs she wants you to test for her.”

Keith’s heart contracts at that. Pidge is going to be so hurt and he wishes he could go back and see her. Maybe she’ll understand. Maybe Lance and Hunk can help her understand why he’s doing this.

“This isn’t about Pidge,” he snaps.

“Well it sure as hell isn’t about me, now is it?”

Keith flinches and Shiro’s eyebrows shoot up. Keith rushes ahead, not taking the time to pull his punch as he hides his weak spot, his badly hidden secret. “It’s not about anyone, Shiro. Unlike you, I don’t have the luxury of lazing around doing nothing. Not all of us abandoned our ambitions and dreams when the war ended. I’m still out here working everyday. I can’t just drop everything to come hang out.”

Shiro’s mouth drops open as the dig about his retirement hits home. His face hardens a second later. “I’m happy with my decisions,” he bites out. Keith can see the lie in his eyes. “Can you say the same?”

“I can do better. I can say it and mean it.”

He narrows his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“Feeling’s mutual,” Keith assures him. He dons a mocking smile. “How’s being a househusband treating you?”

“It sure sounds like this is about me,” Shiro shoots back.

Keith growls. “Don’t go there, Shiro.”

“Because if I recall correctly,” he continues, ignoring Keith’s warning, “you took off the morning after my wedding and no one’s seen you since. Coincidence?”

“Just because you haven’t seen me doesn’t mean no one has.” It’s a weak deflection but it’s what he has.

“Not the point.”

Keith’s anger flares brighter. This flashfire is better than the ache he normally carries. “What the fuck do you want me to say, Shiro? Would me telling you that you broke my heart make you feel better? Because you did. I left to deal with it on my own and planned not to come back unless I absolutely had to. So, no, not a fucking coincidence.”

Keith is viciously pleased at the stunned look on Shiro’s face. It’s about time he has to deal with this particular ugly truth, too.

“Keith…” Shiro starts.

“Don’t want to hear it,” Keith interrupts. “We made our choices and we’re  _ happy _ with them, remember?”

“I don’t know what you’re insinuating,” Shiro says through gritted teeth.

Keith laughs and it’s an ugly thing. “I’m not insinuating anything. That’s your own guilty conscience, Shirogane. Does your husband know you call me in the middle of the night on a semi-regular basis? Secrets can eat away at a relationship, you know.”

“And what would you know about relationships? It’s not like you’ve ever been in one.”

The gloves are off and Keith always knew Shiro could be cruel when backed into a corner. He’s still not prepared for the twist of the knife. 

“You want to know why everyone in your life leaves you?” Shiro asks, wearing an expression Keith usually only sees in purple-tinted nightmares. “It’s because you push everyone away, Keith. You push and push until people get the fucking hint and leave because they finally realize that maybe you’re not worth the effort.”

Keith reels back from the screen in his hands. He doesn’t know what his face is doing but it’s probably not pleasant judging by the triumphant smirk on Shiro’s.

“Well, guess it took me longer than everyone else,” Shiro continues when Keith doesn’t muster an immediate response, “but a dozen or so quadrants of distance and even more unanswered messages is a big enough push to do the trick, I think. Congratulations.”

Keith forces out a laugh. “Yeah, well, good luck with your retired life and cookiecutter farce of a marriage. Don’t die of boredom; I won’t be there to save you this time.”

Keith has just enough time to see Shiro’s face twist like his parting shot hit an unknown soft spot before the call cuts off, leaving him with nothing but lightyears of empty space and the dying embers of his anger for company.

Shiro doesn’t call again. 

Keith pretends it doesn’t hurt.

 

It’s five months after their disastrous call and Keith is a month’s worth of travel past the maximum distance communications from Earth can reach when Shiro tries to call again. His communicator doesn’t so much as light up.

Keith keeps flying.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/LionessNapping) and [tumblr](http://perfectlyrose.tumblr.com) if you would like to yell at me in either of those places!


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